FitnessFixation.com

You know, it’s easy to think of all this food stuff as just something we struggle with in our own head-fuck, it doesn’t affect anyone else. But for those of us who are parents, we get the big angst of watching all this stuff in the world and in our homes played out through our children. There’s a blessing there too: Sometimes our children can show and remind us of what is really important, of how we want to be for them and for ourselves. My intro is just really blah-di-blah-blah crap next to Shari’s post. Just read what she says. And by the way, her daughter is just amazing. I have this particular affection for her, she’s one of those kids you feel just knows things.

Now on to Shari…

Shari’s New Adventure for Her Girl
Carbs weren’t the only thing the nutritionist and I talked about at that appointment. Hey, we’re from Jersey – we talk fast. For me, the most compelling topic of conversation was kids and eating.

She told me it was important that I follow the same diet as the rest of my family. No, she wasn’t suggesting that I eat hot dogs and french fries and mac n’ cheese above everything else. Only that I prepare and eat the same meals that I make for everyone else. She said kids (especially girls) pick up on when their parents (especially moms) eat differently. They internalize these cues and learn to think that girls and women eat different things than boys and men. And then she told me a story to illustrate this point. She had this client who struggled with eating disorders her entire life. She managed to get herself healthy enough to have children but continued to be controlling with her food habits. One night, while her family was eating supper and she was having her usual salad, her young daughter started to cry. When her mother asked her what was wrong, the girl replied, “When do I have to stop eating regular food and start having salads instead?”

Oof.

I am hyper-aware in the shaping power of language. I grew up around constant dieting and self-loathing. Although late to the game, my mom also now understands how words shaped her. At just 5 feet tall and very well-endowed even as a young girl, she was forced to shop, I kid you not, in the “Chunkette” department. Yeah, that will build up the old self-esteem. That’s why in our house, I avoid questions/sentences like, “Do these pants make me look fat?” or “I need to go on a diet” or “I feel so fat” (that one plays non-stop in my head, though). In fact, I kinda pride myself in this area. I never really considered, though, that my kid might be paying attention to what I eat. Admittedly, even though the story unsettled me, I wasn’t all that worried because I started abstaining from carbs when she was 4 years old – too young to notice what I was, or wasn’t eating. I was thinking about this later that day when I announced to my daughter that I was taking her to Saul’s for dinner. She was thrilled – hot dog and french fries, baby. I jokingly told her that she would need to keep a careful eye on her french fries because I was going to eat them all when she wasn’t looking. She gave me that look that only a 6 year olds or 15 year old can give and said, “Oh, please mom, you don’t eat french fries.” True, but I did that night.

Two days later, I took my kid out for a cupcake. And I had one too. Not one of those mini ones, either. A full on chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttercream icing. For the record, it was too sweet for me and gave me a major sugar crash later. No matter. When I sat down at the table with two cupcakes and two cartons of milk, my beautiful, self-assured, strong girl took one look at the treats and exclaimed, “You’re having one too? YAY!” Then she danced around the table, jumped into my lap and gave me a big old hug. It was like she knew the famine was over. O.k., even putting that down on paper makes me get all welled up (but them, I cry whenever we watch Charlotte’s web. Every.single.time). That was the moment of surrender, really. I would do anything to ensure that my kid does not end up prone to self-torture, like I am. If that means I have to eat cupcakes with her, I’m willing to make that sacrifice (and Kelly, I know you’re there for her too).

I had two epiphanies after the cupcake incident. The first was that for the past two years, feeding my family has been a pain in the ass. I would complain about how my kid only likes certain things and my husband other things. I would get all stressed out about what I was going to feed them and how I had to make all of these different things to satisfy everyone. Reality? It was my eschewing carbs that was the problem. I’m the one who needed modifications. I live with carb-lovers, one who is vegetarian (so don’t start suggesting I make us all fish and veggies, ok?). If I am making them pasta, then I also needed to make myself spaghetti squash to carry the sauce. They want veggie burgers? I have to also cook some salmon patties for me. When I started eating carbs again, dinnertime got a whole lot easier.

The other thing I realized was this: one of my jobs as a parent is to feed my kid a balanced diet so she continues to thrive like she did when she was nursing for the first two years of her life. There are things I would never eat and would never let her eat. But this works both ways. Would I feed her a low-carb diet? No fucking way. Even if I wasn’t vegetarian and there were no factory farms or heavy metals and PCBs in our fish and I knew the names of all the local chickens and the reindeer were frolicking in my back yard, I would still not do it. Because she’s growing. I wouldn’t risk doing any damage to her little body or brain by restricting her from foods that are important for her growth and development. So, if it’s not good enough for the most important kid in my life, why should it be good enough for the most important woman in my life?

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 7th, 2009 at 12:35 am and is filed under Uncategorized, body building, cake, exercise, fads and facts, feelings, first person, healthy crap, love, new moves, news and research, nutrition, parents, relating, sanity, shari, sports, stress, weight. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.