FitnessFixation.com

Hello, tracksuit is FLY, haters.
Okay, FYI, some little gnomes snuck into my blog in the middle of the night and changed shit, so if you find your comment sits in comment hell for 12 years or I look a little wider in photos (cough, Halloween candy) you can assume it’s the fault of the damn gnomes. I am utterly blameless.

First, because I love to keep up on the latest strange quick-fix sacrifices for beauty, I want to share this link that Kelley sent me. It’s about a surgical procedure to get a six-pack, as in abs (you can get the other kind of six-pack at most convenience stores, FYI.) Problems: a) you have to have two centimeters of pinch-able belly fat, no more, no less (hello weird) and more importantly, b) the abs look like freaky-fucking-deaky I-dunno-what. My advice: Save the $4-7 grand and buy one of those plastic costume six-pack-abs-bellies. They may even be marked down now that gawd-no-more-candy Halloween is over. And get yerself a six-pack of something pretty while you are at it.

Next up, I have to express some serious disappointment. I’m a blog ho and I write for the Poop, and I generally find common ground with many folks over there. But Peter just posted hilariously about tracksuits and kids, and many people wrote in and bagged on tracksuits. I’ll be busting out my winter tracksuits soon because I adore good tracksuits, they make me feel all fly. So to hear them trashed, well… I may have to wear a tracksuit every damn day for the next month in heartfelt protest. Oh wait: I do anyway, cuz I work at a gym. Well good, I like when my social statements and calls to action don’t require me to change my behavior in the slightest.

Third, tomorrow I have a post about how lack of sleep makes kids fat (I swear I’m not trying to tart here, just workin’ the material for all it’s worth, ‘kay?) and I know you don’t care at all, but perhaps we’ll find the same is true to a certain extent for grown-ups, so maybe my next dare will involve getting eight hours a night of z-time. Again, big on the easy, painless calls to action. Actually if I did manage to do this it’d be an ever-loving miracle, but perhaps we could organize some kind of “Sleep-in” like a Love-in but without all the hippies.

Finally, via our lovey love Crabby who found this via Healthbolt, it turns out swearing at work is good for everyone. Thassright, mother fuckers. I am now goddamn employee of the month FOREVER. There’s some shit in there too about not swearing around superiors or customers or other nonsense, but I want to assure you all, I have enough f-bombs for everyone, so no need to scrimp. If I couldn’t say “fuck” I’d be rendered fucking speechless. And yes, that would be a bad thing.

P.S. I located the gremlin who “upgraded” my blog to make it “work better.” No good deed hides the effects of the fun-size Krackels.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 5th, 2007 at 11:12 pm and is filed under blah blah, linkorama, news and research, relating, sanity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.