I know, it’s been like a week since we posted about hoo hoos. I’m slipping! Well, never fear: Fitsugar posted this great tip about Hygeia, these new special underwear that help you battle bacteria. They are 100 percent combed cotton, which wicks away sweat and dampness, and then an antimicrobial agent helps make the things inhospitable to fungus and so on. The result, according the website, is the unders have that “‘just washed’ freshness, even after hours and hours of prolonged use.” To think, I’ve spent all this time pouring hand sanitizer in my drawers.
Now I have not tried these, because I immediately noticed a problem: no boy-shorts. Alas! I have no idea if they work, and I do not have the attention span to watch the 7-minute video presentation on the glories of Hygeia. I did check out the blog (yeah, who doesn’t have a blog now?) and found it a little sparse. I don’t know if I can be convinced to wear granny-panties, even if they do keep my hoo hoo smelling like roses (that’s its natural smell.)
While we are on the subject, did you know that searches for pics of bald Britney Spears’ are likely to reveal that the carpet matches the drapes? (Don’t click unless you want to see it, okay?) Perhaps she is worried about the not-so-fresh feeling that comes from tight, synthetic underwear, because she opted to go commando, like three times in one week. Since she’s also kind of a drunk trainwreck, that’s what we call “a poor choice”. Though anything that keeps you in the public eye might be more savvy than messy, I suppose. I immediately e-mailed the photos to a friend whose name starts with ‘J’ and ends with ‘uliet’ only to get the news that she’s seen Britney’s clam-flash before. Apparently she does searches for lots of celeb hoo hoos, and swears that “Lindsay Lohan has a nice one.” Lindsay, if you keep letting Wilmer and Jared in there you won’t have a nice one for long.
Yes, I’ve spent my rehabilitation scanning People and In Touch, because I’m reading at about a third-grade level right now with my pain meds. I can feel the brain cells popping. Apparently Britney has lesbian ways. Need proof? I think K-Fed says it all, and if she wasn’t before, I think he could turn anyone. We ought to use him for recruitment. I’m sending Britney a pack of Hygeia thongs right now.
scrubbin’ bubbles in your panties to keep your hoo hoo spic and span!
juliet
February 21st, 2007