I guess I should wish all the moms out there a belated Happy Mother’s Day. My kid made me a card, and a cupcake bracelet out of construction paper, which is damn cute. I spent the day with her and with my own very photogenic mom, who I trained for a second. I decided I wanted to get a photo of Mom pressing a barbell over her head, but I thought it might be a little scary for her, so I loaded up a bar and then used my best calm trainer voice so she wouldn’t get nervous. “Here’s what you do mom,” I said. “Just hold the bar like this and then press…”
Then I whacked myself in the chin with the bar. I have managed to injure myself idiotically with almost all the equipment we have at the gym, but I believe that was the first time I have almost decapitated myself with a barbell at the beginning of a press. I also bit off the sides of my tongue in the process. I was determined not to show how painful it was because I still wanted my mom to be confident doing it, so I smiled heartily and swallowed the blood. My mother gave me a highly suspicious look.
But yes, she did press it, like this. I mentioned the photogenic part, ya? This photo is too whack to do her justice, but every dang one of her looks stunning. How come I didn’t get any of those genes? Does it always skip a generation or something? We are like the yin and yang of photogenic-ness.
Speaking of parents, one of my current favorite things is watching Juliet train her dad. They have this routine where she’ll say, “Okay Dad, you are going to row 800 meters” and he’ll say, “600!” like they are bargaining. Then she gets very stern and says, “No, 800! Do it!” I like to listen to them go back and forth, with him claiming she’s killing him and her telling him to stop complaining. It’s also sweet, because for all her scolding she’s really proud of his progress and hard work, and he’s so obviously proud of her for being such a good trainer.
Growing up, neither of my parents had a significant athletic history, but both found athletic activities they liked in adulthood. I don’t think my mom went near a sport, but now she does Pilates and yoga and weight training. I envision—pretty accurately, I think—her besting the twenty-year-olds at complicated and grueling abdominal exercises. It’s kinda funny, because both my mom and dad get pretty “toned” quickly, are by nature competitive, and probably could have been pegged as having athletic potential, but being all jock-oriented wasn’t really what we did in my family when I was a kid. Nowadays though, oh boy, it’s all flexing in front of the mirror…
Hey, it’s never too late to start.
The subject of kids and sports has been on my mind lately, and keeps coming up in conversation with people. P.E. seems to be largely a joke, so unless a kid grows up in a family that pushes soccer or basketball or swimming or softball at an early age, AND the kid happens to be good at it and like it, kids might not have any sense of themselves as athletic. I personally think it’s crap to do that fitness testing stuff (push ups, sit-ups, running a mile, etc.) in junior high in front of everyone when the kids haven’t even done a sit-up before. It just seems more like an opportunity to make the non-sporty kids feel less capable, when I can tell you lots of adults can get from no sit-ups to 10 in a few training sessions. I don’t have a solution to the whole thing, mind you, I’m just bitching. But it would be nice if there were more opportunities for kids to do a whole range of athletic-type stuff regularly, and find out if they happen to have a knack for rowing or lifting or long jump or skiing or whatever. And that they do a variety of activities in a balanced and age-appropriate (meaning, good for growing bodies) way, so they don’t get repetitive stress injuries at age twelve or burn out at fourteen. Though of course, again, not too late if you wait until adulthood.
What did you get from your parents, good or bad, in your sporty life? Or do you also like to bitch about kids and sports? Tell me.
When I was really young, my dad was very athletic. I used to get taken on bike rides with my dad, being in the child seat strapped to the back of his bike and he used to take me with him when he went to the local community college to jog. I always tried to keep up with him, but would get lapped by him several times.
Somewhere along the way from my early childhood years to my teenage years, my dad stopped all of that healthy behavious, piled on the pounds and developed diabetes.
I also became morbidly obese, but in the past year, I’ve lost 95.5 pounds, and I’m hoping it helps inspire my dad to start taking his health seriously too.
moonduster (Becky)
May 13th, 2009
My parents think I’m going to die while lifting weights/running, so it is obvious that they NEVER steered me towards anything physical in my childhood. They don’t exercise themselves, surprising they are relatively healthy, but are turning 60 soon and are just sitting around waiting for the inevitable age-related illnesses to appear, not realizing nor caring that they age related illnesses are not INEVITABLE. Sad.
Zorbs
May 13th, 2009
My grandmother goes to the Y almost everyday. She does Silver Sneakers, water aerobics and Strength Training and when she can’t get to the Y she goes on long walks. She’s in great shape for 78 years old.
Dee
May 13th, 2009
The thing I remember from school, back in the stone age, is that although all students were required to participate in gym class, there was a strong culture of “you have to be good at this to be allowed to do it.” There were different cliques or levels within the class and it was very obvious who sucked and who was wonderful. It was very exclusive, not inclusive. I would like to see a return to those daily required gym classes, but with pass/fail instead of grades and fitness tests. We were graded and tested and it was insane and discouraging. I’d like to see it more the way art classes are taught, where your effort counts more than the actual result.
Competition is fine, but I think it should be emphasized more in the intramural sports and less in the regular gym classes. It’s more important to teach kids that exercise and physical activity are beneficial and help them find what they can do well, what they like to do, and how to become better at it.
I’m one of those people who didn’t discover fitness until my mid 40s, and I attribute it mostly to that indoctrination when I was a kid, that since I wasn’t good at anything, I should just sit down and stay out of the way.
Marla
May 13th, 2009
I recently took up running (or attempting to run). I was talking to my mom about why I never tried it sooner then at age twentysomethinggrumble. She said “I’m probably to blame for that. I think it jiggles your womanly bits around too much.”
Laura
May 13th, 2009
My parents have always played sports, so sports have always been part of my life — I think that’s the biggest influence, if the parents do it, the kids will likely do it too. If they’re couch potatoes, the kids will be the same.
Both me and my brother took swimming lessons since we were little — I learned how to swim when I was 2, my brother was only 8 months old when he could swim on his own without any flotation devices.
My parents love playing tennis, so they made both me and my brother play too (we hated it because we had no choice).
My dad loves biking, so weekends we had to bike with our dad. When my parents finally gave me the option to quit tennis at 14 (I had played since I was 7), they said I had to pick another sport instead — I already used to play volleyball, so kept up with that.
All the sports were never a matter of choice in my house.
We had a small weight training bench at home, so I started lifting weights at 14, we also had an exercise bike, so I would do that too (we weren’t really allowed to go alone in the trails nearby).
Today, at almost 30, I occasionally swim, I still play volleyball, I bike to work, and in the last couple of years picked up jogging. The weight training has been spotty, but hoping to finally get more consistent with that, since the boyfriend hits the gym quite a bit.
My brother has never been athletically inclined, so he doesn’t do anything today… Said that, he is still a great swimmer when he bothers.
Beach Bum
May 13th, 2009
First off: Zorbs- Great progress! Loosing 95 lbs is no joke, that takes a lot of dedication, you must be proud!
for the post: my parents also think I’m going to really hurt myself lifting or die while rock climbing. My mom tries to be supportive but she hasn’t done anything since before I was born, she use to run but she swears it ruined her knees ( I think it’s the 200 lbs she’s put on since though). My Dad always did construction so he was in shape but never wanted to do anything. They did support me playing softball though… other than that, all my inspiration comes with in and wanting to make a chance. I’ll also give the bf a little credit, he pushes me.
and since I’m an aspiring P.E. Teacher, I share your concern/stress/complete disapproval of the current system. I’m hoping to make a difference, but we’ll see. I hear there’s a lot of politics involved in changing P.E. *crosses fingers*
Rayna
May 13th, 2009
well, i didn’t mean zorbs, i meant becky. I mis matched the names, sorry!
Rayna
May 13th, 2009
womanly bits…lol. My dad was always been very athletic, but not really that competitive. I’m sure I got that gene.I swam and played waterpolo in high school b/c he did, but also b/c I enjoyed it. He’s still very active, doing bike tours and races, hikes and runs any chance he gets. Somehow, as an adult, I lost that inner-competitiveness, and its an up-hill struggle to get it back every day.
Erin
May 13th, 2009
Turns out my grandmother that I never knew was captain of most of her high school sports teams back in the 30s. What a badass! My parents were mildly athletic, mainly some hiking and my mom jogged around a track. Oh, and we rocked the Jazzercise! I remember being 9 years old and doing those doggie leg lifts to Jane Fonda’s encouraging voice. God bless ‘er! Also, I just can’t stand still very well, so sports has always been an outlet. I was never very good in cross-country, but it never stopped me from running or lifting weights in high school.
I definitely do think that having parents that encouraged me as a kid, and showed me it was fun to be outside and sweat, really encouraged me to rediscover and embrace my athletic self in my 20s when I realized I had gotten sedentary. There was no self-confidence hump to get past, as I imagine many folks must go through when they’re discovering exercise and its joys for the first time. My partner wouldn’t work out in the regular gym area for a couple of months when she first started at the gym for the first time, and I know a fit lifestyle is much harder for her to acquire, since her parents were (and are) the sedentary intellectual types. “Cheese, wine, and a good novel” is their motto. So I gave her a healthy lifestyle, and she gave me a newfound love of fat and alcohol. Hmm…
Hoolia
May 13th, 2009
My dad was an athlete. He encouraged us to play but it was always ball sports, which I’m not so great at. He missed that I am all fast-twitch, plyo girl so he never encouraged me to do track. I didn’t discover my inner sprinter until I was almost 40. I wonder where I get my upper body strength and my springy legs from. Not my dad for sure (who does no physical exercise now). Maybe my mom? It’s hard to tell because she doesn’t like to exercise. And yes, she thinks I am going to really hurt myself with a kettlebell someday. She doesn’t understand why I push myself like I do.
Shari
May 14th, 2009
First off, I’ve been feeling very weird about the whole gym culture this week, and it makes me hate my job. And reading this post makes it a little better :-).
I was never athletic in school. Looking back, I think the potential was there. I could climb the rope; I had great flexibility; but I hated running and my mile times always sucked. And yet I ended up in the fitness industry, spending practically every waking moment swimming, biking, running, and absolutely love it. I wish there were a way to get a broad range of activities in front of kids. I’ve tried to get in touch with some local gym teachers to see if I could come talk to their students about fitness, but the response I’ve gotten hasn’t been very great. I did go talk to a collegiate track team, but that’s been it.
It’s a tough problem, and I’d like to be part of the solution.
Jamie
May 14th, 2009
My dad was (and is) pretty outdoorsy: an avid cycler, skier, kayaker, hiker and the like, but to be honest I never really felt like I measured up to his expectations of me concerning my athleticism. I don’t know if that is something I took on myself or if I gleaned it from him, but I remember feeling for a long time that he would have liked me more if I had been a boy, because of course had I been a boy I would have been a natural athlete, right? cos girls don’t git sports (that was me being funny). That sounds sad reading it, but I’m pretty much over it, so don’t worry.
My dad knows that I work out and that I do all sorts of crazy things at the gym, but I don’t think he really gets it. In his eyes I am still falling off the rock wall, tumbling off the ski lift and tripping out of my kayak. I would love to bring him with me to gym sometime to uh… show off basically, but getting the Bear off the mountain is like pulling teeth these days.
My mom has very little interest in exercise and sports. She thinks that I am crazy and always tells me when I’m sore from work out that I have her (highly circumspect) chronic pain disorder. And then I laugh manically, because you don’t know pain until you’ve been trained by Juliet (and I say that with love).
That said, I was involved in baseball, ballet and gymnastics until I was around 11 and oddly enough it was my grandmother who encouraged me in those ventures, and in fact she still encourages me to go out and bust ass… unless I’m pregnant of course. Because pregnant women can’t lift (again with the manic laughter).
That said, I’m really happy that our future kid will have so many positive fitness role models and hopefully feel supported, but not forced, in leading an active and adventurous life.
val
May 14th, 2009
I have never been athletic, but I’ve been hitting the gym 3x a week since January in a quest to lose those last, stubborn 10 pounds from pregnancy. My gym has a very large elderly population. At first, I thought, a bit smugly, that I would be the most fit lady in the locker room…WRONG! These 80-year-olds are SMOKING hot! Totally toned up and strong! I can only dream of looking that fit someday! It is such an inspiration to me! It’s also hilarious, as these ladies appear to be quite the hipsters…they will compare their new small of back tattoos, etc.
Amy
May 14th, 2009
amy -what gym do you go to-sounds great! Love seeing older adults still working hard.
My mom played tennis a bit in college. As a young girl I would watch her in her true Texan way with big, hair sprayed hair (think 60’s) working out to Jack aLane.
My mom encouraged me to play what I wanted and after school sports were plentiful but not many girls played. But I did. Football, baseball, track. Ask me to try it and I would. Back in the day it would come pretty easily. Except gymnastics!
I teach elementary school PE and it’s so fun. I run out of time. 2 weeks ago we did fitness week- tabadas! with music and the kids loved it. We mix up cardio, strength training (push ups , sit ups) and fun games that encourage team play, and fitness while they don’t even know it. The kids did mention after that week they were a little sore! That all came for my first intro to tabadas, thanks to Kelly!
surfmom
May 14th, 2009
My mother has never been athletic. It is like pulling teeth with her to get out and exercise. Luckily, my dad has always been fit and active, he has been a good influence on me and my sister.
Amanda4Sensei
May 15th, 2009
I am an aspiring PE teacher and currently a personal trainer and I love reading these comments. I want to teach kids that there is a wide range in the fitness continuum and that it does not matter where you lie in that arch, only that you are making the effort and find an activity that you enjoy and reap the health benefits. I esp. love the idea “I wish there were a way to get a broad range of activities in front of kids” by commenter Jamie uptop. This is what we need to do! Present to kids that there is something for everyone– yoga, sprinting, rowing, etc. I if you like it, do it! And have fun.
“He missed that I am all fast-twitch, plyo girl so he never encouraged me to do track” by Shari (point taken, thanks for the idea).
Great post, great blog. Glad I found it.
Kat
May 16th, 2009
I have very faint memories of success in sprinting in, like 3rd grade. Then I fast forward to kicking AT the soccer ball with all my might and some father screaming at me for missing it…. Fast forward to 40+ getting the evil eye from your very same Juliet…. “that weight is not nearly heavy enough!”… and it wasn’t. She is a mighty trainer, as are you! Happy Belated Mother’s day to you both!
Susan
May 19th, 2009
O MAN does this bring a tidal wave of memories, some good some bad and some I haven’t decided.
My Dad (context: grew up with adopted parents) was a jock. Rowed for Cambridge, played rugby until he was 65, ran Boston Marathon a bunch of times back when they had one water stop and no Gu. Superman type shit.
All us kids did every sport; tennis, skiing, baseball, soccer, skating (yup, figure skating!), swimming. I was super athletic and ran track, was drafted to softball teams, trained lifeguards and swam competitively for a long time. I did well but was scared to do too well because I always got the disappointed lecture on how I should have done better, so I wanted to keep the bar low (how’s that for bullshit logic!). Dear Old Dad also didn’t want me around while he was buying my athletic equipment because I was too fat and looked ridiculous in a sports store. If I ever got injured, it was because I was too fat. Body image issues anyone?
Now I am 40 something, a mere 30ish pounds overweight but mostly feel pretty athletic. I run marathons, have a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do, was mad strong before my surgery (getting slowly back to strong thanks to Juliet and Kelly) and still hear that voice that says I would be a better person if I wasn’t fat.
My birth mother, who I met when I was 20 and have been with ever since, is super hot and skinny and a 5th degree black belt. We laugh that we have the Lamborghini body…super high performance, always in the shop. We get injured a lot overdoing things.
She is admired by many but keeps the bar low by getting injured. I guess it’s tough to live up to rockstar status, especially when you put huge pressure on yourself not to disappoint the fans.
Nature? Nuture? It’s all connected.
I feel like I need to mail Kelly a check for the therapy session.
girlscientist
May 21st, 2009
As an aside, I think it is bullshit that school curriculums and sports leagues have banished all forms of competition from play. No scoring, every one is a winner and little Sally goes home with a trophy even though she had a shitty attitude and contributed nothing to her team and never has the experience of disappointment.
What universe to they think they will be growing up into anyway?
girlscientist
May 21st, 2009
Wow! I loved this post, and the comments were wonderful! I grew up with completely unathletic parents. My mom was always naturally thin and tall, but never gave a thought to exercise. Dad was the same, and was a minister and poet-definitely more spiritual than physical.
I had a dangerous heart condition (like the basketball players who drop dead on the court occasionally) that wasn’t diagnosed and corrected, until I was 25, so exercise for me always meant chest pain, palpitations and crazy high pulse rates (in excess of 300 beats per minute at times). It was difficult for me, because I had no official diagnosis, and my P.E. teachers always thought I was malingering. To this day, I have the occasional fantasy of visiting my jr. high P.E. teacher and showing her my giant heart surgery scar. She is really lucky that I didn’t drop dead. When I was 25, I was told I was at high risk for Sudden Death Syndrome, and had corrective surgery.
Now, that I am in my 40s, I am trying to really get in shape for the first time in my life, and have even become a bit addicted to exercise. In the past several weeks I have ramped up my 3 times a week walks to walking 4-7 miles, 5-6 times a week. I usually do about a 15 minute mile, so I am taking it slowly. I have just begun adding weight bearing exercises to my routine. I am sore but happy.
Now, if only I could get my parents to take even a daily walk around the block! Thanks for your blog! It is great fun and very informative.
Beka
May 28th, 2009