Hey, it’s December 20th, which means you are getting down to the wire for your Christmas shopping, and really pushing it for Hanukkah. FF would never let you down though, so here’s a few last minute gift ideas for fitness fanatics of all types. We teamed up with our buddy site eBates for most of these, so unless we say otherwise, make sure you login there to view the urls in all their glory.
For the obsessive person who needs immediate and constant feedback…
We suggest the Polar Heart Rate Monitor Watch. This puppy tells you when you are in your target zone, how many calories you are burning, and can track your weekly workouts. It carefully blocks out interference from all the other heart-rate-monitor-wearing yahoos in the room. If you hold it close to your head, it will whisper quiet words of encouragement in your ear. (Okay, kidding about that.)
For the super-groovy person who wants to build core strength…
The Gaiam Balance Ball gives you a bouncy, fun surface for your special strengthening exercises. This one has a “mischievous” paisley print. Oooh, how daring! Put it next to your batik curtains and your Chia pet for a whole look.
For the stylish exerciser who always spends twice as much as you should on everything…
This Sigg Stainless Steel Water Bottle is as precise-looking as a Swiss watch. Plus it comes in gold. Can you ever go wrong with gold?
For the fitness junkie who shoots up anabolic steroids…
Hey, this handy resistance tubing helps build up muscles in your strength routine. But the secret bonus: you can use them to tie off when you inject the ‘roids. Wait, steroids get injected in the muscle, not the veins, right? So I guess you don’t need to tie off. See, I’m not a ‘roider so I don’t know. And you shouldn’t do them anyway, because shrunken testicles are very unpleasant.
For the Rocky wannabe in your life…
This Ironman jumprope has lovely wood handles and it is made of leather. Could there be anything more manly than the smell of wood and leather?
And a couple from Amazon:
For the workout queen who lives in hotels…
This Go-Fit Ultimate Pro GymM brings the gym with you in a handy carrying bag. Resistance bands, ankle straps, door anchor–hey, you could probably do some kinky shit with this. Oh, and it also comes with two-inch tall personal trainer who lives on teaspoons of Red Bull and protein shake. Really!
And my favorite, for when you want to say, “I think you are fat, lazy, and gullible”…
The Massage Maxx by Rite Life. It’s a freaky vibrating belt. Says it “melts away” pounds while giving you a great massage. I can’t imagine how it would work, but how awesome is that? Oh, and once you buy it, lemme know, because I’m selling magic string that you tie around your wrist to even out your heart rate and make you smarter at the same time! Limited time offer, people.
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