The other day one of the people I train told me the smartest damn thing. She said that she always gets nervous before she comes to class, but feels great after she’s done. So after the last class, she went home and wrote in her calendar, “You loved it.” Get it? So she can read this next time she gets nervous about coming. I think this is brilliant, and I would totally steal it except then I’m scared I’d have to get off my ass more often.
I’m guessing we all have an inner voice that tells us things related to starting and doing physical activities, and probably more than one. Mine sometimes tells me that I need a workout, or that I need more sleep, or that everyone is out to get me, but I only listen to the last one. Over at Cranky Fitness there’s a post on the drill sergeant arguing with the lazy girl. I need to get one of those drill sergeant voices, because I basically have a sorority house of lazy girls who encourage lots of sitting around, and bitching, and hazing the people who come to the gym.
Oh, a’right, I have a few different voices in there, some of which encourage me to work out from time to time. My “you should work out” voice is less of a disciplinarian and more an anxiety-riddled freak, nothing at all like me, cough. But I’ve been blessed with a brain that can only be silenced or calmed by physical activity, and damn if that doesn’t get me to the sweat farm as often as vanity and habit and professional curiosity. (”Could I do that many pull ups too? Oh, I’ve confirmed that’s a big fat no.”)
Once I’m exercising, my best workouts involve a sudden and wonderful silence of all voices. (Occasionally I even get this when I’m just demonstrating an exercise for a class, and 12 reps in I realize I’ve zoned out and probably ought to come back to earth and move on.) But you know, it doesn’t always fly that way. Voices do break through sometimes, and tell me I can’t do something, that I’m a fraud and not good enough, or that this is all too hard, or that I’ve really done a sufficient amount for the day and five minutes is longer than anyone should ever be expected to work out. The problem is that all these voices carry a certain amount of legitimacy because they sound like me, perhaps because they are me, and now I have officially bought a villa on insanity island, please come stay in my timeshare. Headline: Post goes south, please send help.
Okay, now that some of you are ready to suggest a dose of some very strong medication, I will say I’m aware these are not in fact voices, but actually me just fucking around in my head. But like most people, I can convince myself of all kinds of things, and I have self-doubt and confidence and ego and all that competing inside me. But I do think so much of what we can do athletically is really about what is between out ears. Take an isometric hold, for example—like holding the squat position. Do you stop because your quads actually give out and you fall to the floor? Maybe. But more likely you believe you cannot endure the burning sensation in your quads any longer. Well, when I first work with people, if they haven’t done anything physically challenging they will often give up as soon as they feel the first pang, because we believe the sensation of discomfort or pain is a signal that something is wrong. And it can be, but by training you learn to discern different kinds of pain—injury from muscle fatigue—and know that discomfort doesn’t mean the end of the road. At that point all kinds of things, from how you think about yourself to your perception of pain come into play. In other words, the sensation of pain in the quads may be remain, but how you interpret that sensation, and determine what you should do about it, those are train-able things.
You can train your brain just like you train your muscles, only it’s a bit trickier because your brain doesn’t just have one message to send. It has all kinds of things it can tell you, and some are more helpful to your athletic performance than others.
Anyway, I have lots of tricks for fucking with the nay-saying voices, like competing with people or focusing on learning something or just counting reps of what I’m doing or reassuring myself that I’m almost done, I just have to do a leeeetle bit more. But when all else fails and I can’t zone or convince myself that a few more laps around the track are possible, then on rare occasions I get a lucky break.
The break is the part of me that refuses to give up. This is not the same thing as zoning out, but I think the end result is the same. It’s a voice in my head that sounds a little like a truck stop waitress, as I believe I’ve mentioned before. And it says things like, “Hon, you just do this shit. You are gonna be all right.” Perhaps that’s a little, uh, folksier than the actual voice but the bottom line is that on the rare occasions I get this, I know I can do what I need to do and the other voices get shriller and seem less reasonable. Those other voices get bitch-slapped. Lord knows where the slight southern accent came from.
Isn’t it a miracle I can even semi-function in the world?
I am totally curious about the kinds of things people say to themselves and use to motivate and work hard and what the voices that fuck with you say. Does self-loathing actually motivate anyone, or does it have to be all positive? Is there a theme to the inner blah blah? Do other people actually zone out, or is there something triumphant that takes over on good workouts? Tell me please.
Oh, and if you see my truck-stop waitress voice, please tell it to come back, because I need it back.
Motivations:
A good helping of self loathing.
Not being the ‘fat chick’ who can’t do it.
The knowledge that x number of reps will never be as hard as 26.2miles so I might as well just do the reps.
Not embarrassing myself in front of friends or strangers.(In my eyes.)
Knowing that on a long run the buzz will make it worth it… just about.
Mostly the incredible feeling of invincibility when you do a good work out. Just for a millisecond I believe I might never grow old, or die.
SAM
March 11th, 2009
I was pondering about my inner voice last night at the gym. I was pushing myself past my limits on the treadmill and it was REALLY A LOT OF EFFORT!!
I use:
* relational times - say I’m at 8 mins, I’ll imagine how I was at 6mins and tell myself it’s only that much further to go.
* skinny bitches on the tv screen - DON’T YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE THAT? MOVE YOUR ASS THEN!
* playlist of upbeat pop/dance music so I don’t get bored
* I’ll allow myself one pause in a run if I get stitch or start to hurt for 60 seconds and then back to it.
HCR
March 11th, 2009
It seems to help if I acknowledge ahead of time that the voice is going to be there telling me to stop before I want to. “You will want to stop but you will go on.” (Unless it feels like an injury of course).
Same thing with actually getting going. I don’t listen to any voice then because I’m not tryin to hear that. I just get my gear on and start. I work at home and it’s the exact same thing. If I think about starting a project I’ll put it off. I have to just turn on my Job Timer and go or else I’ll procrastinate. Thinking is the enemy of doing for me. It’s gotta be done so just do it!
If I experience what I consider to be a failure I will introspect and replay what the voices were telling me at the time that convinced me to do something I’m now unhappy with. I’ll try to weigh their arguments honestly. A lot of times it’s utter crap that I used to convince myself - and I bought it! But going through the dialog again when I’m out of the situation is useful because the next time those voices crop up again I’ll have a response ready. So the excessive number of times per day I say to myself, “You work so hard and you’re so stressed out - you deserve a break and a reward” become lessened when I am more aware of them if that makes sense. Sure this is a true statement sometimes, but not constantly. Plus this mindset makes me extremely bitchy towards my kids, this feeling of being put-upon and stressed out and I don’t want to be Mean Mommy…I’m working on that now so no tips there.
nolafwug
March 11th, 2009
I tell myself that I’ve done it before, so I can do it again. And when I’m doing something I’ve never done before, or upping the intensity, I make myself break it up into chunks…like “only 10 more sets of 30 seconds to go” when I hit the 5 minutes left mark on a run.
I get that zone out sometimes, way too rarely. That quiet is amazing.
Meg
March 11th, 2009
you know I really like and agree with this one..you can definately train the brain. Pain is definately a matter of perception and training. Also, the more you train, the more machoistice you seem to become to most people, because you need to hit that certain level of discomfort to zone out, or to feel a sense of achievement..or “cough” thats just me?
disha
March 11th, 2009
That’s the reason I started attending the Church of the Long Run (i.e. using Sunday mornings for running instead of church or sleep). Because going to church was not helpful. I had too many questions. Nothing made sense. And the voices were downright hostile towards whoever and whatever was going on there. Running quiets the voices. I think it’s more productive.
When I’m in a tough workout, or towards the end of a race, I imagine myself keeping pace with Emma Snowsill or Chrissie Wellington, or some other sufficiently bad-ass pro triathlete. In my head, we’re running buddies, and I have to keep up with her.
And one of the best parts about being a personal trainer is the chance to be the voices for another person. “C’mon girl! Get it! You can do this shit! Don’t let that weight be tougher than you are!” Totally rewarding.
Jamie
March 11th, 2009
When my inner voices start arguing I try to quiet them by reminding myself if I want to be an athlete I will have to train like one. Honestly I envision the lazy voice as a fatty sitting on the couch all sloppy. So when she opens her mouth I know not to listen, she’ll have me in my pj’s eating shit and looking like a bowl of jello! I’d rather listen to the hottass trainer voice telling me to get moving cause time doesn’t wait!
Val
March 12th, 2009
I’ve recently been experiencing that revelation known as “perhaps the fatigue is in my head” quite a lot lately. Somehow without me knowing it, my consciousness has begun checking in on my physical stamina and coming to the conclusion that my inner voice telling me I can’t do it any longer is full of shit. Perhaps it’s that little bit of quiet when the voices shut up that lets me check in honestly with myself. Whatever it is, I’ll take it! As far as motivation, currently it’s running with a friend I introduced to racing and having her start to out-pace me that makes me sprint full out and want to heave afterwards. And honestly, at times I’ve gotten my ass to the gym only after reading your blog. So there.
Hoolia
March 12th, 2009
“You’ve done worse.” ie, I’ve hurt worse than this before, or “it ain’t no thing.” Then I think of my best friend pumping me up for a run/swim/lift sesh. I hear her voice and think of how proud of me she’d be. You know, instead of focusing on the painful jiggle of my ass and the skinny girls I see around me.
Samantha
March 13th, 2009
Hmmm. My 2 mainstays are this: ask myself if, after a workout, I have ever wished I hadn’t done it. The answer is no. Or, tell myself I have to work out for 10 minutes, and if I still don’t want to, I can go home. Guess what, I never want to stop after 10 minutes. What I’m trying to *stop* doing (a bigger challenge for me these days) is to NOT shame myself, i.e.: “don’t you want to look like her, you are a lazy slob, you’re going to get fat (ter).” I’m trying to concentrate on how working out makes me feel,(stong, alive, badass) not how it makes me look.
ThatKim
March 13th, 2009
i think i’ve trained my brain for working out by going to the gym at the same time every day, eating the same thing before and after my workouts, and listening to music that motivates me (ie. lots of screaming/swearing in my ear/heavy metal). to skip going throws off my schedule and because i’m a creature of habit that disturbs me…
plus i just feel so good after a workout it makes it all worthwhile!
m. heart
March 13th, 2009
I’m with Kim. Shaming myself for being “fat” or “lazy” isn’t motivating, it’s just a bullshit excuse to feel bad about myself. Then again, I’m not an athlete nor am I particularly competitive.
The old “You’ll feel better after” sometimes works when I’m feeling workout ambivalent. Also, when I exercise consistently, I’m less prone to depression - that def. motivates me.
kez
March 13th, 2009
For me it’s usually the promise of feeling good and badass in my own (wimpy) way, the thought that i’m facing my demons and earning my whipped cream with cereal. It’s never one thing, when I feel negative about myself it makes me feel more accomplished, and the walk home from the pool is fucking incredible.
Daphne
March 14th, 2009
Because I am Irish, Scottish and German, I am cheap as hell. And so, I view it exercises fatigues as ‘pain on the installment plan.: In other words, the more I hurt now, the less I will hurt doing the same thing later. Of course you have to WANT that thing, but that’s not a stumbling block for me. I totally agree about the church of long run, which I love. Sometimes, I have actually had mild panic attacks when I see how far I’ve gone or how fast I’m going (thanks to the fucking Garmin), and so I just tell myself I am going to leave that feeling on the road. This worked incredibly well during one half-marathon across the GG bridge. I was trashing myself and just started repeating “leave it on the bridge, leave it on the bridge,” like a madwoman. Even now that phrase can help me calm down…
Anne
March 14th, 2009
I work well with routines. I’ll go to the same class every week without question once I’ve established the pattern. The other day was using the elliptical trainer (out of necessity) and I found myself using two tricks 1) setting intervals of harder resistance and lighter resistance and 2) pushing myself to finish one more minute, then I was close to 700 calories so I pushed to that, and then I was close to 9 miles so I kept going, then 800 calories… Small manageable goals work for me every time. My brain often says “you can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds”.
Tracy
March 17th, 2009
My inner voice is usually clamoring for cupcakes, and wondering if it would really be that bad to just shoot heroin. But I’m old… very very old. Keep up the inspirational words, Kel. Somehow, they keep me going.
Tsan
March 17th, 2009
It’s weird, but when I give myself “permission” to slack off a bit before a workout (e.g., I’m feeling out of it so I tell myself it is OK to quit after thirty minutes) I almost always do the full workout without quitting. I hit the “slacker” goal, then realize that there’s only X more to go and as I’m already at the gym/on the road/etc. I might as well keep going.
Alyssa
April 6th, 2009